The evolution of a Bro:
Most of the Bros you will read about on this blog have typical attributes of most Bros; Born into suburbia in a Northeastern state, attended a high school that ranked as one of the top drinking and drugging high schools in the country consistently by Forbes magazine or whoever rates that shit and played some kind of Bro sport like baseball or LAX, and if they played soccer they made sure to drink extra on weekends to make up for playing such a fag sport. These Bros attended major colleges like Ball St., Clemson and USC where the puss was plentiful and willing, and of course domination of said puss occurred to the point of meat curtain generation. After college, a Bro is let out into the world of an uncertain future. Do you jump into the real world, get some gay job in finance that your Dad had to hook you up with and lose all the bro-tributes you have mastered over the past 8 or so years? After 8 years of maxing out puss, weights and kegstands (which now have morphed into Four Loko funnels), we figured this couldn't happen. Yes, we would get jobs, because we aren't being bankrolled by the midge and papa dukes. But we would take as many 3 and 4 day weekends as possible and head off on what are now referred to as "Epic Bro Fests". The goal of these fests are to...
1) Get Hammered
2)Do ridiculous stuff up until the point of arrest, taking it the the point of arrest if needed
3)Kill packs of bouges while mouthing horseshoes of buy one get one free snus
4)Fist pump and rave dance to all White Panda mash-ups and She-Wolf, most likely on repeat
5)Dominate at all drinking games, and if somehow we lost, lie to every chick about it later
6)Mercilessly Slay Vadge
On to the Fests...
